Brandi Carlile back on tour: May 2008

Wait what!? Brandi Carlile is back on tour again? Hold the phone sister, you mean to tell me after 4 tours cycles off the same two albums …she’s at it again?

Listen, Brandi, we love you, but take a break. Ive been listening to your two albums for four years now and the same 16 songs are getting a bit stale. Hmm, at this rate will you still sing “Fall Apart Again”, when your 50? Making it a bit more relevant to your bodily state? Or do you think you’ll turn “Have you ever… gone out walking through the woods” into “Have you ever… gone out wheel chair-in’ through the woods”? Because at this rate, quite frankly –that’s what its looking like. Same songs, older Brandi.

I understand you want to keep touring and working hard while your career is hot, but BC c’mon, your fans are getting a bit disinterested. The last time I saw you it was at the Fillmore, NY in September–and you sounded wretched. Just miserable and tired, and bored. There were 100 baby dykes in front of me and I could hardly hear your tired voice over the drunk incessant screaming, you seemed put out to be singing to a SOLD OUT show.

Truth be told, I was scared to even smile at up at you on stage when you played a favorite in fear of your jealous girlfriend would jump out behind the curtains to tazer gun me. Word on the street is she used be an Oregon State Trooper, now she’s just a groupie to keep you in check. Is it true you’ve become too big for your britches? Eee, rumor on the street is, you are!

Bottom line Brandi, I love your songs but a fourth cycle on tour singing the same songs is a bit much. Do us all a favor, take some time off, write some new tunes, enjoy the domestic life for a bit, release a video that isn’t lame and then charge us $35.00 to see a well rested rejuvenated Brandi–then I’ll come and gladly shell out whatever you charge.

P.S. Please update your website. Enough with the faux Indie “Never Ending Story” big book theme. Its played out. And oh, by the way even on a T2 line it takes too long to load. Jussayin’

Google Trends rigged? Blackberry Bold?

Google Trends or google ads? Google trends aims to provide insights into broad search patterns? Im a bit skeptical. I think Google is pushing these key words/businesses/merchandise etc. I think Google is having the last laugh. I think there’s some geek behind a desk punching in random (some media driven) key words and watching the lame ape like American public go bonkers and blog about it to score wacky high hits. You mean to tell me over 50,000 people are searching: “Tears of Clown” within the past hour? Gimme a break. There’s no way that many people give a flying hoot about Smokey Robinson. Hmm, come to think of it, who is his record label, are they putting out a Smokey Robinson’s greatest hits album? See, I betcha Google is in bed with MoTown Records. HA!

And while Im at it…the new BLACKBERRY BOLD is a piece of shit. Just look at the screen! It looks smaller than the face of my digital watch. And nice try to integrate the iPhone look into their latest model. Boo! I wouldnt buy another Blackberry if my life depended on it. My service is sporatic, (my last AT&T Nokia was a dream). My Curve camera is horrific. And the text messaging folder is a joke. Jussayin’. And please notice the difference between the Palm Centro and the Blackberry BOLD? I sure dont…Hmmm.

Moe’s Southwest Grill gave me food poisoning. I swear!

Last night J and I were craving some tasty tacos. When I arrived home from work, we hemmed and hawed over what Mexican joint to fill our craving. Reluctantly, we decided to try Moes. I had never been and J has been maybe three times.

We pulled up to Moes, walked in and gawked at their RIDICULOUSLY priced taco combos. I could have eaten for WEEKS at TacoBell for what we paid! $20.00+ for 4 tacos? C’mon!

The first indication that we should have left was the 15 year old clueless girl behind the counter. Turns out it was her first day. The fat shifty eyed manager was training the meak girl, while trying to make small talk with us. It was annoying and uncomfortable to say the least. We should have left the second he said he drives a Camero. But I guess I let it slide, because he does work at Moes…after all.

The food was really quite tasty, until we were at the beach doing our nightly walk…when we noticed our stomachs grumbling.

After the walk, we played frisbee for about 15 minutes when IT hit. For the next 6 hours, I ran from the living room to the bathroom, to the living room to the bathroom.  Cue me in between bathroom sessions frantically looking up “botulism and food poisoning” on WebMD. J had all the same symptoms but was able to hold it together far longer than I could. I am CONVINCED 100% the meat was bad, and there was some sort of bacteria swimming around my stomach.

Today I feel weak, tired, and drained. I will never eat at MOES again. Period.

Public Service Announcement:

Every so often I’ll buy an audio book. I prefer to buy the actual CDs from Borders or what have you –and upload them to my ipod. Just for the smart simple reason that I can resell them on ebay. Can’t do that if you buy one of itunes.

Preparing for our trip to Wisco, I bought: James Patterson’s The Thomas Berryman Number. This audio book is HORRIFIC. I find myself re-listening to the same tracks because I have NO clue what is going on. I wish something would happen, ANYTHING. All I hear is some guy with a fake southern accent droning on and on.

Granted this was James Patterson’s first novel, but it got stellar reviews. I simply don’t get it.  Sigh, I’m on track 23 out of 152.

PSA: DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!

In case you were wondering…

Last week J and I went to Wisconsin. It was chock full of eating tons of greasy food, watching bad movies, and seeing a great concert.

We dined at: Bella’s Fat Cat, Roberts, Kopps, Mama’s, Pizza Piccola, Dave’s Bagels, and Taco Time. All delicious greasy spoons, far from what the N.E has to offer.

We went back to Shank Hall for a Kathleen Edwards concert. Kathleen was phenomenal, despite her HORRID opening act: Last Town Chorus (Megan), an over pretentious angsty 30 something year old with a most annoying slide guitar. News flash MEGAN, my baby brother can play a slide guitar with his pinky toe and make it sound better than you did. –Good grief, even the folks behind us were pinching their ears shut with every new note she slid into. News flash Kathleen, your show would be 100% better if you’d DUMP LTC! Mmmhmm. Check out some of Kathleen’s performance here on our YouTube URL.

Also in news: DO NOT RENT: DAN IN REAL LIFE. Unless you are suffering insomnia, I would NOT, I repeat would NOT rent this movie. As a fan of Steve Carell, this is his worst performance to date.

Hi all!

I have no clue what todays date is and I love it. J and I are away on vacation, and weve been relaxing and eating LOTS of bad food.

A few notes:

• I want a new computer. I currently have a Mac G5 and a MacBook. I miss PCs. I never thought I would say this, but I do.
• I want an external HD. Time to start the research. Need a good deal.
• I need to get contacts. Soon! But I hate my insurance plan and the low budget optomo’s it sends me to.
• I need new GLASSES! Any suggestions? Oakelys? Nike has a new line out…Im a huge fan of LaFont, although their current line…not so fun.

Yep, its pretty much office life

Here is one of my favorite Variety SHAC shorts.

Dolly Parton Concert Review 4/25/08

Oh Dolly Parton! This concert will go down in history as one of the WORST concerts I have ever seen in my entire life. You see, I last saw Dolly Parton with Kenny Rogers when I was 8 years old. I guess I didn’t know any better but from what I could remember, it was amazing. Friday night, not so much. J and I spent over $150.00 for less than mediocre seats just to see the following:

1. Dolly lip synch-ing. Yep, she lip synched the entire show. For starters, we were awfully curious as to why she didnt have those teleprompter TVs set up throughout the arena. Question answered as we peered through my Nikon All Weather binoculars and saw her not even making and effort to lip the words to some pretty hefty Dolly favorites.
2. Dolly was clearly singing along to a CD. We heard no instrumental pitch difference when the drummer or guitarist were supposedly playing.
3. NONE of the instruments were plugged in.
4. She pretended to play a Native American flute, a slide guitar, a violin, and a HUGE acoustic guitar. Sorry Dolly, I saw you in my binocs and you werent playing any of those instruments. The entire show reminded me of Ed McMann’s Star Search–the instruments episode.
5. There was an INTERMISSION! Last time I checked musicians didnt need intermissions! -Well apparently 70 year old Dolly does.
6. Her stories in between songs were lame and sounded routine and so rehearsed. However, I suppose if I was performing for 100 years, –I’d too, probably run out of funny, witty things to say.
7. I think she has ass implants.
8. Her set was horrific, the least she could have done was thrown up a butterfly or some sort of image to the sheet like back drops. For the money we all paid…she could have had the Taj Mahal Jussayin’
9. She sang about 5 cover songs from the 50s and 60s –just painful to hear. One of my most hated genres of music is the 50s and 60s (IE: The Monkeys, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, etc). And this just set me over the edge while, Rip Van Winkle and Rumpelstiltskin themselves just tapped loudly along to the “beats” next to me.

Here’s a set list of all the songs she lip sang to– of course she sang the only three songs I know by heart, at very last.

1. Two Doors Down
2. Why’d you come in here looking like that?
3. Jolene
4. Country Girl (John Denver cover)
5. Backwoods Barbie
6. She’s an Eagle when she flies
7. Shattered Image
8. Coat of Many Colors
9. Only Dreamin’
10. When the Saints Come Marching Through
11. (Some awful gospel song)
12. Baby Im Burning
13. You’d better get to living
14. Ive really go the lonesomes tonight
15. Great Balls of Fire
16. Bye Bye Love
17. Go Johnny Go
18. So Sorrrry
19. Wipe Out
20. I Wanna Hold Your Hand
21. My Girl
22. R.E.S.P.E.C.T
23. Turn, Turn, Turn
24. Here I Go Again
25. Islands in the Stream
26. 9-5
27. I Will Always Love You.

Marlee Matlin kicked off “Dancing with the Stars”

Jodie, I mean Marlee Matlin was booted from ABC’s Dancing with the Stars last night. Although I no longer watch the show, I must say I was rather disappointed. I grew a slight affection to Marlee, even though she was the snottiest character to ever grace The L Word. However, I must admit, after learning my dear Marlee was married to her husband in Henry Winkler’s, (the FONZ) backyard and that she had five kids, it kinda killed the L-WORD para-social relationship for me. Her role on the L Word now just seems creepy to me.

For you L Word fans out there, I guess the judges and America just came up with “17 reasons why” to give her and Fabian Sanchez the boot. (For all you non-LWord fans, please note Marlee’s on screen girlfriend won her back with a one ton roadway sign, proclaiming…17 reasons why!)

I hate it when…

This happens:

You see now I simply cannot enjoy the rest of my tasty treat, then the inevitable happens…

Shit. (Yes, wise-asses, that IS ice cream)